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Life was good! Very good! Professional footballer, beautiful children nice house nice cars, but behind all that I was dying. I didn’t no what was wrong with me. Panic attacks daily, not sleeping, drinking, using drugs just to suppress the thoughts in my mind. I didn’t want to live anymore, not in the pain that I had in my mind and my heart. I felt alone, like I was a burden to my friends and family. Trying to hold down a job support my children and be a good person was all I tried to do yet all I seemed to be doing is failing. I have suffered with anxiety, depression and addiction for 5 years. It’s cost me, jobs, houses relationships and ultimately my happiness up until I could no longer live with myself doing nothing. I wasn’t living I was just surviving and my children deserve more than that. In January 2019 I checked myself into rehab. After years of pretending I was OK I finally gave in and accepted my illness. I am now happy and have learnt that it’s OK not to be OK and that I can help other people by sharing my story. This illness will never go and has left scars inside me that will never ever leave, but I wear them with pride and see how far I have come and what I live with daily. It’s never easy but by talking and sharing my story I am able to help myself and others overcome this disease.
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